All Hail the Brain/Terminal Illness
Evan must come up with a plan to get tickets to an R Rated movie, and comes up with the brilliant idea to get the terminally ill Archie to ask his mother, because no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease. Lyrics Evan: I have a plan I have a plan Possibly, I think I have a plan It’ll take a lot of work, it’ll take a lot of luck But when it all comes through, they’ll say All hail the brain! He does what no mere mortal can He’s the man, Evan Goldman All hail the brain! He did what no one else could do Saw us through, saved the day And all I have to do is Wait till Mom goes to sleep Then sneak the license from the wallet in her purse And make a colored Xerox, laminate it Then put the license back in the wallet in her purse Then find the dress she wore in the picture on the license that I copied and I laminated Wear the dress, get a wig, show the license, buy the tickets What could go wrong? All: Brett’s gonna do it Brett’s gonna do it Friday night Brett’s gonna do it Friday night At the Bloodmaster Brett’s gonna do the tongue with Kendra Friday night at the movie in the mall And the Brain’s gonna get us in Evan: I have a plan A better plan Actually an almost perfect plan It sounds absolutely nuts, it’ll take a lot of guts But when it all comes through, they’ll say All hail the brain Give that bar mitzvah boy a hand Ain’t he grand, ain’t he great? And all I have to do is Go that day to the movie theater Break into the projection room See the reel of film for the Bloodmaster Take it in the hall where they’re showing Bambi Switch the reels, leave the theater Tell the guys we’re gonna go and see Bambi What could go wrong? Brett: Hey, Brain, did you set up my date for Friday? Evan: Date? Brett: With Kendra? Evan: Date? Date! Archie, I have major news! I have a plan I have a plan So you and Kendra can go out on Friday night Archie: Ooh! Evan: I need your help, though, so stay calm You need to go talk to my mom And it’ll all come true Because No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness Take it from me, it’s a sure guarantee of success Listen, I’m not making fun of your terminal illness But you hold the secret to getting my mom to say yes So talk to my mom, and get her to buy the tickets we need to obtain Brett gets his movie, I get the credit, and you get your date, so who could complain? Except for you because your dying, but No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness Who could refuse when you shuffle your shoes and say please? Use all the tricks that you learned in your cradle You don’t need to lay it on thick with a ladle Cause no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease! Archie: I can do this! Evan: I know you can! La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Archie: Mrs. Goldman, I hate to bother you, but I was strolling through the neighborhood… Evan: La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Archie: Which wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t my birthday on Friday, but the insurance… Evan: La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Archie: I could always pay you for the tickets if I don’t get my medicine next month… Evan: La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Archie: And you know, I’ve always felt this connection with the Jewish people… Evan: Out of the blue A thought comes to you Like sun coming out from the rain And after the stress My mother says-- Archie: Yes! Evan: Yes! Evan & Archie: We’re all set for Friday So who could complain Archie: Except for you because you’re Jewish and you always complain Evan: It’s true-- Evan & Archie: But no one says no to a boy with a terminal illness Ask for a day at the mall or a trip to Belize Nothing’s to hard or a quest unendurable Long as your sure you’re completely incurable Cause no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease Eric: All hail the brain All: All hail the brain Eric: I never thought he’d take the bait This is great, Evan Goldman All: Evan Goldman All hail the brain Evan: I did what no one else could do Tell me who could complain? Eric: All hail the brain All: All hail the brain Evan: All hail the brain All: All hail the brain All hail the brain! Category:Songs